Dec 6 birthdays

Today is my oldest nieces birthday, she turned 24 December 6.  I know my sister had a very difficult time when she had Cheri.  Shana was just 16 years old and still going to high school.  She did end up graduating with all A's and B's.  She married Cheri's dad and had 2 more children.  She ended up being a single mom with 3 kids by the time she was 25 years old.  She always worked, and worked very hard.  As the years went by it was rare that she even got child support, she was the sole provider of her children.  She did remarry when her youngest was about 6 and Cheri was about 12.  She didn't always know how she would pay for everything but she made it work.  Did she struggle? Yes she did.  Was she a good mom? Absolutely.  Would my niece have been better off if she was adopted?  I truly don't think so. 

My sister did fight to keep her daughter.  She fought my mom, her doctor, members of her church.  She had to prove to everyone wrong about their ideas of single young mothers.  We talked about this a few years ago, she told me she would not have lived if she would have placed Cheri.  That is the one thing that would have broke her.  It is not selfish or unloving to parent your children even as a single mom.  Cheri, I am so glad your mom made the decision she did.  I'm glad you are my niece and I have been able to watch you grow up.

And to the other birthday today.  It is my nephew John Robert, he was born Dec 6, 1995.  He is my brother's child.  I have not seen him since he was a few days old.  My brother was about 16 and so was his girlfriend.  This was the only child that either of them had.  He was placed for adoption.  I do not know all the details of why or how everyone feels about it.  It is a subject we don't talk about. I did talk to John's mother about a year and a half ago.  Her life has been a bit chaotic since she placed and she feels it was the best for him to be placed.  How John feels, I do not know.  I don't even know what his name was changed to.  My brother and I do not discuss this at all.   I do think of him and wonder what he is like.  I wonder if he looks more like my family or his moms family.  Is he tall and thin like his dad.  Does he play music?  I hope he is okay. I hope he hasn't struggled, I hope he is happy and knows he is loved.  I wonder if he wants contact with us?  I do want to meet him.  I do want to look into his eyes.  I was there when he was born and I would have loved to watch him grow up.

I do not know what city or state he is in but I wonder if I have seen him passing by.  He is 8 months older than my Kenny.  I wonder how they would get along if they have similar interest.  We live in a city of about a million people, do my sons and John have friends in common?  John if you ever happen upon this post I would love contact with you.  I"m sorry we didn't fight harder to keep you in the family.  I do love you and think of you often.