Tuesday March 8

I knew I had to go to work on Tuesday, I figured it also gave Ian and Alyssa some alone time.  I left for work and they were still sleeping.   I knew I was only going to work short days this week, I just had to make sure all the necessary things were taken care of.  I only worked until about 1pm.  I came back home and Alyssa and Ian had gone back to Santa Cruz.  I was really glad that they got away together.  Alyssa had text me asking if some of the family could come over for dinner.  I started contacting some of my family to come over for dinner.  We were going to have home made tamales, refried beans, and Mexican rice.  I might be white but I can cook some amazing Mexican food, thanks to my mother-in-law. 

About 2 I here Alyssa and Ian, they hadn't left the house until 11 so I was surprised they had came back so fast.  Ian decided that he wanted to come back and enjoy time with the family.  He really wanted me to join them at the beach but there wasn't time for that.  We just hung out while I cooked dinner and waited for everyone to show up.  It is so relaxing to be with them both.

My sister Shana and her family came over and we had a really great time.  About 8:30 while we just sat around and talked Owens amom (J) sent Alyssa a text saying they needed to talk when she got back to Utah.  Alyssa just said that if it was about her blog she was sorry if anything hurt her.  The next text and said they needed to temporarily close the adoption until Alyssa could be happy and deal with the adoption.  They only want Owen to see adoption as a blessing and if Alyssa is ever sad Owen will not see adoption as a blessing. 

J then said that we should have came to the Temple and she didn't understand why we didn't come.  That totally confused us because just 2 messages back was her text saying not to come to the temple meet at the church for the luncheon.  It wasn't like we misunderstood over a phone call but it was written in a text.  J then text Alyssa saying she was upset with me because I had told my parents not to go to the temple.  I asked my niece who knows my moms insecurities and asked if she would have done it differently.  She had said she would have done the exact same thing.  My mom is very uncomfortable in new situations like that and my mom would not had gone with out me.  My mom was having trouble with going even knowing I was there.  Alyssa was pissed off to say the least and totally hurt.  One week after the adoption is final and it is closing.  J had promised Alyssa everything under the sun.  J lives within about 20 minutes of Alyssa too.  They could easily run into each other at a store.

J with Owen and Alyssa

Alyssa closed her blog that night.  It seems to me that J was having a very hard time after the temple.  She had seen how close Alyssa and I were, she also saw that Owen kept trying to go to Alyssa even when J was holding him.  I honestly think that hurt her the most.  Owen hadn't seen Alyssa since December but he still kept reaching for her.  I know J would let Alyssa see Owen if I was out of the picture, I think she fears Owen needing Alyssa the way Alyssa needs me.  I told Alyssa she should just go back to Utah and cut off ties with me, that way she can stay in Owen's life.  I just want her to be able to see Owen and stay in contact with him.   I want her to be able to watch him grow up.  I never want her cut out of his life.  I know J is saying temporary closed adoption because if she says it is closed then she can't adopt another child.  Alyssa told me she would never cut off ties to me, she couldn't do that.  I do know that by the time Owen was 3 months old J started looking into adopting another child.  She is 40 and has almost ran out of time to adopt another child because of her age. 

Alyssa and I stayed up until about midnight, it was a very emotional evening.  We didn't cry but we were still drained.  We were not going to let that ruin our week together.