Alyssa wanted to meet a friend in San Mateo that she hadn't seen in 2 years. Her friend used to live in Utah but since moved out to California. It was nice for me because I could work a bit longer too. We planned to meet in San Francisco that evening. Alyssa loves San Francisco. It is such a different lifestyle than she is used to.She grew up in small towns and seclusion while San Francisco is the exact opposite. We walked around Pier 39, looked at shops, and just relaxed. The kids goofed off a bit too. We found a shop that sold all kinds of crazy hats, so all of the kids had to try on a ton of hats.
I asked Alyssa if she had heard from J. Yes she did. J was pissed that Alyssa took down her blogger account. She said now I can't know what your thoughts are. Oh no what a tragedy right. I suggested Alyssa open up her blog that J knows about and just put in happy thoughts. We all know even when we are going through hard times there are still great things that happen to us. Our lives are never all good or all bad. And then she should have a private blog on the side that she can tell her full story at.
I don't know if she is going to take my advice or not.
We found a really good pizza place at Pier 39 called Luigi's. We had a meatless pizza for the girls and a meat filled pizza for the boys. We also shared a thing of garlic bread covered in mozzarella cheese. It was so good. We walked along to the end of the Pier and took some silly pictures. As we walked back to the cars everyone was just laughing. Ian and Kenny were skipping in a circle around us. I looked over at Jer and he whispered to me "this just feels right". Yes it did. It was as if almost all the stars were lined up in the universe. Owen was not with us but I am sure one day he will be also.
We walked over by Boudin's sourdough shop. Alyssa was leaned over the rail a little bit and a guy walked by and said "Nice bootie" I laughed and yelled back "Don't talk to my daughter that way" He looked at me and replied "I'm sorry I didn't realize that was your daughter, I'm so sorry" I don't get offended very easy, I wasn't at all offended by this young man. I actually thought it was pretty funny. Alyssa just looked at me and laughed. I love it that we have the sense of humor. It is so nice to acknowledge in public that Alyssa is my daughter.
We headed back home after this and talked for a few minutes, but it wasn't long before we totally crashed. Most days we stayed up til midnight or so. Alyssa would come into my bed and we would just talk. Nothing important or deep, just about what are plans were the next day and things like that.
After I finish writing about our week together I will be posting pictures.
I am curious about how you reunited with your daughter and how long it took for you to have the close relationship that you do. Is there a spot on your blog that you can tell me to read about to catch up on your story?
ReplyDeleteOMG! J is angry she can't read Alyssa's thoughts? What, does she own her too now? Unbelievable!
ReplyDeleteAside from that insanity...I love that you and Alyssa can have such a close relationship and yes it feels amazing to acknowledge to the world that you are her MOTHER. Period. I think her young age makes it easier to reconnect that bond that happened during pregnancy and birth. I re-unioned with my daughter for the 1st time when she was 17 then again when she was 18 (this time going awesomely well now that she is of age and the adopters can't interfere). When she came to visit me I kept catching myself feeling angry and VERY protective because in the supermarket and at the pool grown men were looking at her like she was a juicy steak! It disgusts me the way men treat women like that anyway but it being pointed at my daughter really put me over the top. Kellie just giggles and says, "Oh Mama...you're such a mama" and hearing "mama" just makes my heart jump for joy and glee:D
She needs you...she needs this closeness with you. No matter how tough you two try to be on the outside...inside, she just needs her mama:*)