This week

I haven't posted in the last few days.  Busy with life, work, kids, a little bit of everything.  I keep thinking that I'm not very social and just so quiet but somehow for someone that is not very social I have had plans with friends or family every weekend for the last 4 months. It is very rare that we have a weekend with no plans. 

This week the three kids wanted their hair colored so we finally did it.  Cassie has purple in her platinum blond hair.  Kenny has a purple faux-hawk while the rest of his hair is dark brown.  And Alex wanted to go white blond but once we stripped his hair of color he decided to keep it that way.  So his hair isn't blond but yellow, think of Easter egg yellow.  Not my favorite but it is their hair and they have their own opinion and way to express themselves.  I personally don't see coloring hair as rebellious.  After being at the high school a lot over the past 2 years I have noticed that over half of the students color their hair.

A weird coincidence has happened.  I was picking up the boys at school, Kenny was out and we were waiting for Alex.  I sat with his friends and we were talking.  They commented that I didn't look like I am a mom.  I said, Well I had my first baby at 12 years old (sarcasm).  The kids actually believed it so I said "no I really had my first baby when I was 16.  But once you say 12, 16 doesn't sound so bad, right.  We were sitting with about 4 kids and one girl said oh my mom had me at 14.  And then she said but I was adopted.  And then the boy sitting with us said I was adopted too.  He was adopted by his mom's aunt and the aunt's boyfriend.  How much of a coincidence is it that these 4 kids that hang out every day 3 of them have been directly affected by adoption?  I find it interesting that Kenny was drawn to this group.  Up until that day none of these kids knew the others were affected by adoption.

This past weekend I was at my sister's house and we were celebrating my nephews 21st birthday.  My sister-in-law and I were talking.  She mentioned that it is so weird how well Alyssa fits in, it's like she came back to where she belonged.  She says you would have never known with the way you two are together that she was ever placed for adoption.  My sis-in-law mentioned how all of Alyssa's actions, reactions, how she tilts her head, the way she talks is just like the rest of us.   (FYI- My sister in law started dating my brother in September 2009 and Alyssa and I first made contact outside of the agency November 2009.)

Next my brother who is very conservative and non-emotional was asking about Owen's adoption.  I told him that it was currently closed Alyssa gets text at times which have pictures but there is no personal contact. My brother got very angry, he started telling me how that is illegal.  You can not legally go into adoption as opened and then close it.  He was literally yelling.  This is my brother who has said every child born to unwed parents should be placed for adoption.  He obviously has no children and has never been in that situation. I told him very plainly that there is no such thing as a legal open adoption.  You can promise anything but as soon as the mother signs away her rights she doesn't have a legal right to ever see her child again.  He was shocked and said but if that was the agreement how can it be changed? I often wonder the same thing.  Obviously our legal system is not really set up for open adoption.  It is set up for closed adoptions with falsified birth certificates.