Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was amazing.  For the first time ever I had all of my kids together.  It was L-O-U-D and they were rambunctious, there was laughter and even a little bit of arguing.  But I had all of my kids.  I missed Owen incredibly though.  Our little family will not be complete without him.  He is so loved and he will always be part of our family even though he isn't with us.  I wonder how Allysa's other parents are dealing without having her with them for the holidays?  I know what it is like not to have one of your children with you.  To celebrate holidays as a family but have your loved one missing, it does hurt.  I'm sure they are feeling what I have felt over the last 19 years.

One really cool thing happened on Thanksgiving.  Jer's grandmother was handing out Christmas cards with money in them.  She was giving them out to each of her grand kids and great grand kids.  She had a card for Allysa too.  My eyes watered up, I held in my joy and my tears.  Allysa was accepted without question by Jer's grandma.  When I was pregnant with her I was told how no man would ever accept her, no family would want me and my daughter to marry into their family.  Jer's family has shown me other wise.  His grandma is 80myears old and hard core Catholic but she accepts my daughter without question.

I think it is much easier to accept a toddler than a 19 year old daughter that has returned to her natural family.  My husband's family has accepted her.  They love her. The one thing that I was told would not ever be possible has happened.  You know what?  They would have accepted me with my one year old daughter 18 years ago as much as they accept us now.

Oh how I wish I could go back to my 16 year old self and tell her what I know now.  Do not believe the industries lies.  They are there to make a profit.  You can raise your child, you will find the man of your dreams in just over a year.  He will accept and love both of you.  His family will love the both of you too.  You can raise this beautiful baby just as well as a married older couple can.  Oh my 16 year old self I wish you knew what I know now.