And now back to your regularly scheduled program

I often see excuses made especially by adoptive parents on blogs why it was different for their children's parents to place.  There is always a rational excuse.  Examples: She was still in college, she lived in the dorms, she would have been a single mother, she would have had to go on state insurance, she wasn't ready, or my favorite it was destiny and God wanted me to have this child.

So often the reality is different but it is easier to make up an excuse then to realize your place, societies place, and an agencies place in the roll of adoption and a child losing its family and heritage.  I have even heard adoptive couples claim they did not break up a family when they chose to adopt.  When you are matched to a mother that is expecting a child and befriend her so you can raise her child you are breaking up a family. The child is not an orphan, the child has family.

  It is hard to think critically when you gain a child and don't have to deal with the loss. Yes adoptive couples do have losses they are usually infertile.  They fantasize about their own child.  But the point is, it is a fantasy child not a living breathing human being.  Not their flesh and blood,it is a fantasy.  Not being able to have a child and preying on women that can are two very different things.

I read a 2 blogs recently about family preservation. Here and here. 

Just some interesting thoughts and ideas about how we could do adoption differently.