I am going far off my normal topic. I was at a baby shower on Saturday, my friend was becoming a grandmother for the third time. I was sitting around talking with a group of women. All of us were ages 30 to late 40's. We had all been with our spouses for 10 to 20 years, we all were raising children from ages 4 to 19. One woman started complaining about her husband in front of us and 3 of the kids present. She was saying how she was sick for the last few week and her husband had gotten sick too. He had a much milder cold than her. She has gone to the ER and been on all kinds of medication. She is still recovering but has to get back to her doctors for medication and such. She complained that she had woken up early and her husband was rubbing her leg. I thought wow how sweet, after 15 years of marriage and 2 kids he is still cares about her and wants to be close to her. I was thinking sweet and romantic. All of the sudden these other women were saying what a dog he was and how all men are alike and only think of sex. They were talking about this in front of a 4 year old girl, my 13 year old daughter, and a boy almost 12 years old.
First of all I don't think men are animals with one thing on their mind. I don't want any of my children to be raised hearing that. The men that they are talking about (their husbands) are all honest, hard working men that provide for their families and volunteer countless hours to different organizations to help children with disabilities. They are caring and loving human beings, that happen to also have a sex drive. Personally if my husband didn't find me attractive whether I am a size 0 or 14 I would be hurt by that. He accepts me for my imperfections, which are many, my stretch marks, my wrinkles, my temper, he accepts and loves me for all of these things.
I have not got together with this group of women in about a year and a half. After listening to them for a few hours I realized probably why I no longer hang out with them. I adore my husband and wouldn't sit around and bash him in front of other people especially any of our children. I think it is too important for my children to see the best in others. No one is perfect, but we can always try to look for the best in others and build that part of them up.
After being at this baby shower I went to a different friend's 43rd birthday. It was a totally different group of people. I have hung out with this group a lot over the last year or so. I am the baby in this group the age ranges from mid 30's to mid 50's. Most of us have kids but a few have decided to be childless. One thing I noticed about this group is that every single person is confident in themselves, their relationships, and they build up their spouses. I would never hear the comment "all men are dogs"come from a single person in this group. After this weekend I think I know which group of friends I will be around, which friends I will have my children around. Even though it was just one comment, this sentiment has been spoken many times by the first group. I don't want my boys to ever hear that by adults and feel belittled. I don't want my daughters to expect that of men. I want my daughters to see good nourishing relationships. I want all of my children to see relationships where there is love, tenderness, and equalities. I want them to know it is normal to hold hands, kiss and cuddle. I'm not talking about full on make out sessions in front of our kids but a little kiss.
I would never allow my children to see a husband belittle his wife whether she was around or not why would it be acceptable for woman to belittle men and call them all dogs?
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