Adopted for the life of me on PBS. I was finally able to watch this documentary last night. My husband and I watched it as the kids were falling asleep, I needed a box of Kleenex. Of course I knew the laws and the pain of adoption. I do know how hard it is to get your OBC in most states. Through search groups I have heard the pain of adoptees that just want to know more about their heritage, their history, who do they really come from, who do they look like? These are basic human questions.
Adoption is a life long experience. An elderly woman says I just want to know who I am before I die. Darryl from Run DMC said "the information (sealed OBC) is part of who we are, our identity."
In New Jersey - Pam Hesagawa asks - "Who are we fighting? The Catholic church, the state bar associate, lobbyist, ACLU, misinformation and dismissive attitudes. Birth mother right to privacy from her own child." Pam also says "adoptees are part of a mother privacy not a part from it"
In 1982 one adoptee lived 6 blocks away from his natural mom. 6 blocks away and neither mother nor child knew, he was an adult at the time. He found both his parents after they died. He did end up meeting his only biological sister. She had only had 4 things from her father when he died. She gave her long lost brother 3 of them. What a selfless caring person. This stranger she never met until they were in their 60's she gave 3 of the only mementos she had of her dad to her brother. It wasn't that they were of any monetary value but they met the world to the adoptee. She validated him, she allowed him to call her father, their father, dad. No jealousy, no dirty secret, just love.
One woman found out she was child number 5 from her mother. Wow, she was an adult and it looked like in her late 30's and she just found out she had 4 older siblings. Can you even imagine that?
As I watched it one adult adoptee, he was in his 60's, found his moms gravestone and her friends. She had him in her 30's. He was her only child. He wanted answers to the whys. Why at her age couldn't she care for him. Why did she get rid of him? He seemed hurt by his mom before he found her friends. And then after piecing her life together and finding out about how she was abused he understood. She was just protecting him. She didn't want her son, her baby to be abused they way she had been. He not only forgave her but he called her his hero. This older man with salt and pepper hair went from anger to love just by knowing his history, his story. He read poems that his mom kept. He knew she thought about him, she loved him, and missed him, he knew he was wanted.
It was also interesting to see that in Kansas, a state that never sealed records, anyone can get their OBC. They can see their birth name. They can see their parents name. There have never been problems with children coming back to haunt their natural families. Natural parents did not need to be hidden from their children. A CI is not needed to be the go-between. Isn't it a lot easier to get your basic information if you have a name to start with. Your medical information is much easier to find if you have your mothers and fathers names.
I know not every reunion is great. There can be pain and hurt for both the adoptee and natural parent. But to look at someone and see yourself reflected back into them, that is awesome. To get your medical information and know the diseases to look out for, for yourself and your children. That is needed.
I know I have a lot more medical information for myself and my siblings then I had almost 19 years ago when I placed my daughter. We have since found out that my older sister has hemophilia, a mild form of it, she gets it from our dad's side. My niece has a rare liver disease. I did not hide these things from my daughter at birth but they were unknown at the time of her birth. We also have found there are a lot of dairy, gluten, and meat allergies in my immediate family. I did not know these things when I had my daughter. My younger sister just recently found out she has a gluten allergy. We also have found out that from my moms side we have a hereditary form of blood clots. My little sister has had problems with high cholesterol since about the time Alyssa was born. My sister was on track and field, was skinny but still had high cholesterol, it had nothing to do with her weight at all. She had to be very careful with her fat content in food. Since I placed my daughter my dad has been diagnosed with diabetes.
These are all things that my descendants need to know. I do not know if my daughter and her adoptive parents were given her full medical history at the time of her birth. There are things I had told my social worker that my daughter was never told. I had told my social worker that I was half Danish but one of the first things my daughter asked me when we started texting was "what was her heritage? Where did our ancestors come from?" She should have had that already. What else was left out? I do not know at all.
One of the lines in the last 10 minutes of the show is "In the end sealed records did not protect anyone it just keeps them apart." Sadly that is true too many times.
Owen and me
My first grandson one day old.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
It's been a few days since I posted anything. Alyssa came back from Hawaii with her boyfriend on Tuesday. She really seemed to love it. She was falling even more head over heels for her boyfriend. They have been together for almost a year. She was about 6 weeks pregnant when they started dating. On Thursday 2 days after they got back to Utah he broke up with her, this is his third time breaking up with her in the past year. She is totally heartbroken. I hate not being able to comfort her. It really sucks being so far away. I would love for her to be able to fly out to California soon but I don't know if that will even be possible. I remember when I was dating all of the times I was hurt when someone would break up with me. It never really got easy. I tried to pretend it didn't hurt but it still did.
Alyssa has had quite a hard year, just one heartbreak after another. She seems to take break ups as a personal rejection. I know it seems easy to say for me because it isn't me going through it. She deserves someone that loves her for her. She needs someone crazy about her for her personality, for her kindness, for her unselfishness for her amazing inner strength. She is so beautiful I think it is hard for guys to see past her looks and love her for herself. They seem to want just eye candy and when they realize she is so much more than that they can't handle it.
I hope one day she will see in herself everything I see in her. I want her to never settle for less than she truly deserves. I'm not talking about money I am talking about being with a person that will see the best in her and love her for those things. Someone that will bring out the best in her and she brings out the best in them. I want someone for her that doesn't want her to change in anyway. Alyssa Mary I love you so much. I hate you hurting in any way.
Alyssa has had quite a hard year, just one heartbreak after another. She seems to take break ups as a personal rejection. I know it seems easy to say for me because it isn't me going through it. She deserves someone that loves her for her. She needs someone crazy about her for her personality, for her kindness, for her unselfishness for her amazing inner strength. She is so beautiful I think it is hard for guys to see past her looks and love her for herself. They seem to want just eye candy and when they realize she is so much more than that they can't handle it.
I hope one day she will see in herself everything I see in her. I want her to never settle for less than she truly deserves. I'm not talking about money I am talking about being with a person that will see the best in her and love her for those things. Someone that will bring out the best in her and she brings out the best in them. I want someone for her that doesn't want her to change in anyway. Alyssa Mary I love you so much. I hate you hurting in any way.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
I was born in New York and raised in California. My parents can trace our LDS roots back about 150 years. My ancestors helped settle areas of Utah and Idaho. My parents left the state of Utah about 40 years ago. They are back living there now though. My parents are liberal politically for Utah but conservative for California. They have always taught us to be morally right, not legally but morally right. Don't just follow the letter of the law but the spirit of the law . Morality for them was not just about don't have premarital sex but about living in honesty. You don't follow the letter of the law but you do the right thing even if it is more than what the law says to be right.
Living up to what they have taught also includes not passing judgement. My dad always said it doesn't matter what people say it is their actions that matter. Sometimes you have to stand outside of the crowd. Yes you have to sometimes stand outside the crowd even at church. Just because someone claims to be christian because they put it all over there blog or face book doesn't mean they are following a Christlike example.
I do expect these things of other members of my church but too often I'm disappointed. I have met some people who are life long friends that are like this, who are honest in all they do. Some are LDS and some are not. My husband and his family overall have the same values I was raised with. My husband is Catholic, I'm not talking about the kind that goes once a year to church but the type that goes weekly and tries to also help the surrounding community. The type that gives time and money to the needy.
I am no where close to perfect. I do know that, I am sometimes too passionate, driven, stubborn. I try to protect those that can't protect themselves. So often when people find out I'm LDS they are shocked. I often hear but you aren't judgmental or racist, you know how to have fun and enjoy the moment. Or I hear but you don't have only Mormon friends, is that allowed? I also hear a lot from friends of how weird Utah/Mormons are. Yes when I visit Utah it seems weird to me also. I'm used to liberal free thinking California not conservative Utah. I'm used to big cities and a broad mix of ideas and people.
One thing I do not understand is how a state for family values can give fathers no right in adoptions. A state that has 80 to 90% of their politicians are LDS. You would think that this state would hold itself more accountable. You would think this state would have the best laws for adoption. Not the best laws for adoptive parents. I expect more empathy from LDS members and their leaders. I was taught my church is about families, families first. Is that only for married couples are family first? Should families come first for all families even the ones created through premarital sex?
In this great state of Utah a father has to do more than just prove he is the biological father through DNA he has to prove that he has supported the pregnant mother. He has to register that he wants his rights honored. How can his rights as a dad can be taken away so easily? I do not understand that at all. How when families are supposed to be first can fathers, who are supposed to be the head of the families, be cast aside so easily?
Living up to what they have taught also includes not passing judgement. My dad always said it doesn't matter what people say it is their actions that matter. Sometimes you have to stand outside of the crowd. Yes you have to sometimes stand outside the crowd even at church. Just because someone claims to be christian because they put it all over there blog or face book doesn't mean they are following a Christlike example.
I do expect these things of other members of my church but too often I'm disappointed. I have met some people who are life long friends that are like this, who are honest in all they do. Some are LDS and some are not. My husband and his family overall have the same values I was raised with. My husband is Catholic, I'm not talking about the kind that goes once a year to church but the type that goes weekly and tries to also help the surrounding community. The type that gives time and money to the needy.
I am no where close to perfect. I do know that, I am sometimes too passionate, driven, stubborn. I try to protect those that can't protect themselves. So often when people find out I'm LDS they are shocked. I often hear but you aren't judgmental or racist, you know how to have fun and enjoy the moment. Or I hear but you don't have only Mormon friends, is that allowed? I also hear a lot from friends of how weird Utah/Mormons are. Yes when I visit Utah it seems weird to me also. I'm used to liberal free thinking California not conservative Utah. I'm used to big cities and a broad mix of ideas and people.
One thing I do not understand is how a state for family values can give fathers no right in adoptions. A state that has 80 to 90% of their politicians are LDS. You would think that this state would hold itself more accountable. You would think this state would have the best laws for adoption. Not the best laws for adoptive parents. I expect more empathy from LDS members and their leaders. I was taught my church is about families, families first. Is that only for married couples are family first? Should families come first for all families even the ones created through premarital sex?
In this great state of Utah a father has to do more than just prove he is the biological father through DNA he has to prove that he has supported the pregnant mother. He has to register that he wants his rights honored. How can his rights as a dad can be taken away so easily? I do not understand that at all. How when families are supposed to be first can fathers, who are supposed to be the head of the families, be cast aside so easily?
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Infertility
We know why most, not all, people look into adoption is because they for one reason or another can't have kids of their own. Some people are past prime when they start trying to have kids. We now know that late 20's your fertility rate starts to decline. For some reason not every bodies body can have a baby even in their early 20's and with all medical advances. Some of us are very fertile, as my mom calls it Fertile Myrtle. I do hav empathy for these families. I have seen these struggles in people that I love and admire. Do I think anyone deserves to suffer infertility? No I do not.
In absence of being able to have their own child people choose adoption. Adoption does give a wanting family a child. It absolutely gives a family a baby to call their own, as if born to. It gives a woman a new name, mom. It gives her a child to raise, to hold, to love. But it does not change her fertility. She still will look at her child and see someone else's eyes, hair, skin. She will love the child of course but the baby will be wired differently than her own children would have been. Even if you have a child from birth the child will think differently because he doesn't have your personality make up, just like he doesn't have your genetics. Yes the child will have some things in common just like you have things in common with your friends even though you are not related. You might find you both love the same music, TV shows, and have the same sense of humor. Will your politics, religion of choice, and values be the same? Will you have problems with that? Will you feel less than, because you could give a child a home but not give birth to that child.
Even if you raise a child from birth and you are the only mother and father they know it will not change the facts they are not totally yours. The child will always have another family out there, another mother and father. Adoption brings up a whole new set of questions and self esteem issues for the adoptive parents. Will you wonder if your child will love you as much as they love their natural family? Will there be jealousy? Will you feel as if you are enough in society's eyes? Adoption does bring a new different set of questions and misgivings for all 4 parents. It brings up problems for the natural parents not just the adoptive parents and it can bring up issues for the adoptee too.
Adoption does not get rid of your infertility. If your child gets pregnant before marriage will it bring up your infertility issues, will you feel less than? Will you be jealous of your child? Will you consider their child your grandchild?
In absence of being able to have their own child people choose adoption. Adoption does give a wanting family a child. It absolutely gives a family a baby to call their own, as if born to. It gives a woman a new name, mom. It gives her a child to raise, to hold, to love. But it does not change her fertility. She still will look at her child and see someone else's eyes, hair, skin. She will love the child of course but the baby will be wired differently than her own children would have been. Even if you have a child from birth the child will think differently because he doesn't have your personality make up, just like he doesn't have your genetics. Yes the child will have some things in common just like you have things in common with your friends even though you are not related. You might find you both love the same music, TV shows, and have the same sense of humor. Will your politics, religion of choice, and values be the same? Will you have problems with that? Will you feel less than, because you could give a child a home but not give birth to that child.
Even if you raise a child from birth and you are the only mother and father they know it will not change the facts they are not totally yours. The child will always have another family out there, another mother and father. Adoption brings up a whole new set of questions and self esteem issues for the adoptive parents. Will you wonder if your child will love you as much as they love their natural family? Will there be jealousy? Will you feel as if you are enough in society's eyes? Adoption does bring a new different set of questions and misgivings for all 4 parents. It brings up problems for the natural parents not just the adoptive parents and it can bring up issues for the adoptee too.
Adoption does not get rid of your infertility. If your child gets pregnant before marriage will it bring up your infertility issues, will you feel less than? Will you be jealous of your child? Will you consider their child your grandchild?
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Importance of Family
I am not going to talk about adoption on this post. I know you are shocked right. My parents have always taught us family first. Nothing is more important than that and family will always be there for you no matter what. I want to talk about my little sister Laurel and how she is teaching this to her kids.
Laurel separated from her boyfriend 6 months ago, they were together for 5 year. They have 2 great kids ages 2 1/2 and 5 years old. Oh I just adore those two little boys. They are so cute and have amazing imaginations. My sister has the boys for Christmas and they live in Northern Oregon. She doesn't have any extended family up there so she is going to drive 10 hours to be with the rest of the family for Christmas in California. We do see her and her sons every couple of months. She has gone out of the way to show her boys how important family is. She doesn't tell them but shows them by example.
She has already set up in her boys life teenagers and adults that her boys will trust and can turn to as they get older. Her ex-boyfriends parents want to see their grand kids for Christmas time. She could be the total brat and say well I have them for the Christmas. Instead she told them she can visit with them either on the way to or from Oregon depending on their schedule. She understood how important it is for her kids, their grand kids, to see and get to know each other. It's not about the adults breaking up but the kids having family and feeling loved. Just because parents are separated does not mean that children should lose out on their heritage and bonds that came with family. I am so proud about her decisions she is making for her sons.
Laurel separated from her boyfriend 6 months ago, they were together for 5 year. They have 2 great kids ages 2 1/2 and 5 years old. Oh I just adore those two little boys. They are so cute and have amazing imaginations. My sister has the boys for Christmas and they live in Northern Oregon. She doesn't have any extended family up there so she is going to drive 10 hours to be with the rest of the family for Christmas in California. We do see her and her sons every couple of months. She has gone out of the way to show her boys how important family is. She doesn't tell them but shows them by example.
She has already set up in her boys life teenagers and adults that her boys will trust and can turn to as they get older. Her ex-boyfriends parents want to see their grand kids for Christmas time. She could be the total brat and say well I have them for the Christmas. Instead she told them she can visit with them either on the way to or from Oregon depending on their schedule. She understood how important it is for her kids, their grand kids, to see and get to know each other. It's not about the adults breaking up but the kids having family and feeling loved. Just because parents are separated does not mean that children should lose out on their heritage and bonds that came with family. I am so proud about her decisions she is making for her sons.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Keary - A father fighting for his rights
I do not know this person personally and I do not have all of the details. This father is from Oregon and so is his daughter. He did not sign away his rights. As a mother of 2 sons I have empathy. A mothers rights should never been taken away by a father to place a child for adoption. A fathers rights should never be taken away either. This child went a cross state lines and was placed for adoption in Utah. This is not an immediate adoption but the adoption took place at two months old. The father helped to take care of her and wanted to raise her.
Below is his story.
My name is Keary Watson, and I am the proud father of a beautiful baby girl named Elizabeth Renee Watson.
She was born on August 11th 2010.
I want to start out by thanking you for taking the time to visit this site and taking the time to hear my story.I love my daughter dearly and will do everything in my power to have her home with me where she belongs.
My daughter Elizabeth has recently been placed with a family for adoption without my knowledge or consent.
Her mother, Rebecca Prestwich, made the terrible decision (because of strong pressure by her Mormon family) to "sell" my daughter to a family within the LDS church in the state of Utah without my knowledge or consent. Rebecca has signed away her parental rights and placed Elizabeth with a wealthy adoptive family. She did this AFTER Elizabeth was two months old. As Elizabeth’s father I cannot comprehend how Rebecca could make the choice to sell our beautiful daughter away to strangers. These actions sadden my heart. I have always made Rebecca aware that I am Elizabeth's father and will always take care of my child. I cannot understand why she would have chosen this option but sadly she has.
I pray that Rebecca can live with the decisions that she has made and I seek comfort in knowing that I will correct the bad choice Rebecca has made and will never give up trying to do so.
It appears as though I have a bigger battle ahead of me to get Elizabeth back home than I ever imagined.
Over the last two weeks I have been made aware of A LOT of other cases similar to mine.
This is prevalent throughout the U.S. with many birth mothers doing this in the state of Utah because of laws that exclude birth fathers. I am fighting for my legal rights as her biological father to get my daughter back. I did NOT give up my daughter for adoption. I would NEVER give my daughter up for adoption.
I am her natural father and I am her recognized legal father on her birth certificate.
I have been a part of my daughter's life since the moment of conception and have continued to be her father in the fight to get her back home with me where she belongs.
Please help me to spread the word and what I am fighting for.
From reading other cases it is people like you who are helping make a difference. Again, I would like to thank you in advance for any help you give. Words cannot express my gratitude.
I am requesting donations to cover legal expenses, travel and accommodations in Utah where my daughter is being kept. Please visit the link if you can help.
http://apps.facebook.com/fundrazr/activity/08e22911a5dc42a39688c50f0549fe92
I would also like to ask everyone to take the time to write the Utah Attorney Generals office and the US Department of Justice about my case. The more people start talking about baby brokering/human trafficking by people abusing Utah laws - the more the authorities are going to look into it.
Thank you,
Keary Kase Watson.
Attorney General’s Office E-Mail: uag@utah.gov
Justice Mr. Dustin Pead
US Department of Justice
185 South State Street, Suite 400
Salt Lake City, Utah.84111
Phone: 801-524-6924 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 801-524-6924 end_of_the_skype_highlighting
Fax: 801-524-5682
Various Other Representatives :
lfowlke@utah.gov, react@reason.com, subscribe@reason.com, letters@reason.com, rmenlove@utah.gov, bcferry@utah.gov, jdraxler@utah.gov, fhunsaker@utah.gov, curtwebb@utah.gov, kwgibson@utah.gov, gdonneson@utah.gov, gfroerer@utah.gov, neilhansen@utah.gov, lshurtliff@utah.gov, bdee@utah.gov, rgreenwood@utah.gov, pray@utah.gov, coda@utah.gov, daagard@utah.gov, kgarn@utah.gov, jfisher@utah.gov, rogerbarrus@utah.gov, sherylallen@utah.gov, pauln@utah.gov, jgowans@utah.gov, cduckworth@utah.gov, jseelig@utah.gov, rbecker@utah.gov, christinejohnson@utah.gov, dlitvack@utah.gov, jdougall@utah.gov, rozmcgee@xmission.com, janicefisher@utah.gov, jbiskupski@utah.gov, lwiley@utah.gov, ronbigelow@utah.gov, nhendrickson@utah.gov, koryholdaway@comcast.net, markwheatley@utah.gov, priesen@utah.gov, csmoss@utah.gov, ehutchings@utah.gov, jdunnigan@utah.gov, lhemingway@utah.gov, toddkiser@utah.gov, jbird@utah.gov, wharper@utah.gov, tcosgrove@utah.gov, mwalker@utah.gov, karenmorgan@utah.gov, merlynnnewbold@utah.gov, greghughes@utah.gov, cwimmer@utah.gov, melbrown@utah.gov, gsnow@utah.gov, jmathis@utah.gov, ksumsion@utah.gov, cfrank@utah.gov, ssandstrom@utah.gov, bdaw@utah.gov, keithgrover@utah.gov, cherrod@utah.gov, sclark@utah.gov, blockhart@utah.gov, atilton@utah.gov, mikemorley@utah.gov, ppainter@utah.gov, bwinn@utah.gov, brad.king@ceu.edu, kaymciff@utah.gov, blast@utah.gov, bbowman@utah.gov, mnoel@kanab.net, dclark@utah.gov, surquhart@utah.gov
Below is his story.
My name is Keary Watson, and I am the proud father of a beautiful baby girl named Elizabeth Renee Watson.
She was born on August 11th 2010.
I want to start out by thanking you for taking the time to visit this site and taking the time to hear my story.I love my daughter dearly and will do everything in my power to have her home with me where she belongs.
My daughter Elizabeth has recently been placed with a family for adoption without my knowledge or consent.
Her mother, Rebecca Prestwich, made the terrible decision (because of strong pressure by her Mormon family) to "sell" my daughter to a family within the LDS church in the state of Utah without my knowledge or consent. Rebecca has signed away her parental rights and placed Elizabeth with a wealthy adoptive family. She did this AFTER Elizabeth was two months old. As Elizabeth’s father I cannot comprehend how Rebecca could make the choice to sell our beautiful daughter away to strangers. These actions sadden my heart. I have always made Rebecca aware that I am Elizabeth's father and will always take care of my child. I cannot understand why she would have chosen this option but sadly she has.
I pray that Rebecca can live with the decisions that she has made and I seek comfort in knowing that I will correct the bad choice Rebecca has made and will never give up trying to do so.
It appears as though I have a bigger battle ahead of me to get Elizabeth back home than I ever imagined.
Over the last two weeks I have been made aware of A LOT of other cases similar to mine.
This is prevalent throughout the U.S. with many birth mothers doing this in the state of Utah because of laws that exclude birth fathers. I am fighting for my legal rights as her biological father to get my daughter back. I did NOT give up my daughter for adoption. I would NEVER give my daughter up for adoption.
I am her natural father and I am her recognized legal father on her birth certificate.
I have been a part of my daughter's life since the moment of conception and have continued to be her father in the fight to get her back home with me where she belongs.
Please help me to spread the word and what I am fighting for.
From reading other cases it is people like you who are helping make a difference. Again, I would like to thank you in advance for any help you give. Words cannot express my gratitude.
I am requesting donations to cover legal expenses, travel and accommodations in Utah where my daughter is being kept. Please visit the link if you can help.
http://apps.facebook.com/fundrazr/activity/08e22911a5dc42a39688c50f0549fe92
I would also like to ask everyone to take the time to write the Utah Attorney Generals office and the US Department of Justice about my case. The more people start talking about baby brokering/human trafficking by people abusing Utah laws - the more the authorities are going to look into it.
Thank you,
Keary Kase Watson.
Attorney General’s Office E-Mail: uag@utah.gov
Justice Mr. Dustin Pead
US Department of Justice
185 South State Street, Suite 400
Salt Lake City, Utah.84111
Phone: 801-524-6924 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 801-524-6924 end_of_the_skype_highlighting
Fax: 801-524-5682
Various Other Representatives :
lfowlke@utah.gov, react@reason.com, subscribe@reason.com, letters@reason.com, rmenlove@utah.gov, bcferry@utah.gov, jdraxler@utah.gov, fhunsaker@utah.gov, curtwebb@utah.gov, kwgibson@utah.gov, gdonneson@utah.gov, gfroerer@utah.gov, neilhansen@utah.gov, lshurtliff@utah.gov, bdee@utah.gov, rgreenwood@utah.gov, pray@utah.gov, coda@utah.gov, daagard@utah.gov, kgarn@utah.gov, jfisher@utah.gov, rogerbarrus@utah.gov, sherylallen@utah.gov, pauln@utah.gov, jgowans@utah.gov, cduckworth@utah.gov, jseelig@utah.gov, rbecker@utah.gov, christinejohnson@utah.gov, dlitvack@utah.gov, jdougall@utah.gov, rozmcgee@xmission.com, janicefisher@utah.gov, jbiskupski@utah.gov, lwiley@utah.gov, ronbigelow@utah.gov, nhendrickson@utah.gov, koryholdaway@comcast.net, markwheatley@utah.gov, priesen@utah.gov, csmoss@utah.gov, ehutchings@utah.gov, jdunnigan@utah.gov, lhemingway@utah.gov, toddkiser@utah.gov, jbird@utah.gov, wharper@utah.gov, tcosgrove@utah.gov, mwalker@utah.gov, karenmorgan@utah.gov, merlynnnewbold@utah.gov, greghughes@utah.gov, cwimmer@utah.gov, melbrown@utah.gov, gsnow@utah.gov, jmathis@utah.gov, ksumsion@utah.gov, cfrank@utah.gov, ssandstrom@utah.gov, bdaw@utah.gov, keithgrover@utah.gov, cherrod@utah.gov, sclark@utah.gov, blockhart@utah.gov, atilton@utah.gov, mikemorley@utah.gov, ppainter@utah.gov, bwinn@utah.gov, brad.king@ceu.edu, kaymciff@utah.gov, blast@utah.gov, bbowman@utah.gov, mnoel@kanab.net, dclark@utah.gov, surquhart@utah.gov
Sunday, December 12, 2010
My crazy week
I have had quite a week with my kids. Alyssa is in Hawaii with her boyfriend. I have talked to her twice but not our normal multi-daily conversations. I am missing her a lot. I know she needs to get away to deal with the pain and loss of placing Owen. Holidays are so hard when you have lost all of your natural family to adoption.
Cassie has been dealing with major drama at middle school. She has a face book page, yes I know she is young but it was the only way a year ago to interact with her sister. I have allowed her to keep it but I have all her settings on private. I know her passwords and I check it at least daily. Sometimes I check it multiple times a day. A week ago last Friday a girl put up some really inappropriate things on my daughters page. I'm talking about cussing, calling names, everything. It was really bad and I won't repeat it here. I caught it within about 15 minutes of it being put on Cassie's wall. I put a message on this girls wall. It simply said what you wrote on my daughter's wall was very inappropriate and I will be bringing it to the principal on Monday.
I was really hoping this girls parents would be checking her face book page so they knew what was going on. My daughter goes to school in a great area in a really good neighborhood. The only problem is there are a lot of older parents that aren't into new technology. They don't know how to monitor their kids in cyberspace. Probably about 1/4 of the kids have been raised by nannies more than their parents.
Well my daughters friends saw the post that was put up on Cassie's page. They all defended my daughter. The problem was they took it too far. They were starting to respond back with mean things. I wanted the problem to be handled appropriately by adults. So I commented on the original post and just told everyone that it would be handled on Monday. What was written was wrong but not to do anything to this other child. Really picking on the other girl will help no one. I was afraid everything would be blown out of proportion by middle school drama.
What was really sweet was Alyssa commented too. She handled it very maturely but protected her little sister too. Later Alyssa told me sometimes it sucks being over 18 and having to be legally responsible for your actions. Oh baby I get that. All I wanted to do was protect my lil one from a mean drama filled middle school brat but I had to be the adult and treat this other kid the way I would want my daughter treated.
First thing Monday morning my husband and I went to the principal. She saw the posting and was not very happy about it. She said what was done was considered cyber bullying and I could go to the police also. I did not want to bring it that far. I thought the appropriate thing to do was let the school and parents deal with it.
It ends up that the things written was through the girls Ipod. Her Ipod was stolen a month before at the school. So someone did write those things through this girls account but we don't know who did it. The girls parents were embarrassed that this happened at all. I do totally get that. I would be humiliated if someone thought my kids were picking on anyone else. I would be embarresed that I wasn't watching what my kids put in cyber world.
That was Mondays and last weekends craziness.
My husband does out side sales, each Christmas I bake desert trays for his top 15 - 20 customers. I spend several weeks staying up all hours baking. I usually start baking at 7pm, after dinner is made and I'm off of work. Several nights this week I was up until past midnight baking. So far I have made 11 trays of desserts. Now my kids are asking for dessert trays for their friends and some of their teachers. Who needs sleep right?
My husband got a cold a week ago. Luckily he takes care of himself and doesn't complain much. He hardly ever takes time off of work and this is no different. He takes cold medicine and he is on his way with life. It seems that Alex, Kenny, and Cassie are getting colds too. They need a lot of attention when they aren't feeling well.
Cassie has started to hear alot of rumors about herself these past few weeks. None are true but it still is hard on her emotionally. I think there are a lot of us who know how cruel other teenagers can be, especially girls are to each other.
Cassie had a heart to heart with Kenny last night. They are 2 grades apart but only a year and a half apart in age. He is in high school and is mature and responsible in her eyes. I call them my twins because they are so much alike in their personality. They think alike and usually do their evil plans together too. They are either fighting with each other or plotting against some one.
Kenny came to me last night and said, "Mom Cassie is getting picked on (I already knew that) and I want to put something up as my face book status. I need your approval." He showed me what he wanted to write. Basically it said that his lil sister has had rumors spread about her none of it is true and he wants it to stop. Wow how many teen age boys would do that for their little sister. I asked him to change the wording slightly but overall it was okay. He wasn't asked to protect her, he wanted to. He didn't want his lil sis to be hurt and he felt it was appropriate to make it known on a public forum. Cassie said it is a little weird that her brother loves her so much. She said our family is odd because we like to be together and we always do things for each other. She told me it's weird normal families don't show they love each other like we do. We talk about everything too, nothing is off limits.
Yes as my niece tells me, we are "special".
Cassie has been dealing with major drama at middle school. She has a face book page, yes I know she is young but it was the only way a year ago to interact with her sister. I have allowed her to keep it but I have all her settings on private. I know her passwords and I check it at least daily. Sometimes I check it multiple times a day. A week ago last Friday a girl put up some really inappropriate things on my daughters page. I'm talking about cussing, calling names, everything. It was really bad and I won't repeat it here. I caught it within about 15 minutes of it being put on Cassie's wall. I put a message on this girls wall. It simply said what you wrote on my daughter's wall was very inappropriate and I will be bringing it to the principal on Monday.
I was really hoping this girls parents would be checking her face book page so they knew what was going on. My daughter goes to school in a great area in a really good neighborhood. The only problem is there are a lot of older parents that aren't into new technology. They don't know how to monitor their kids in cyberspace. Probably about 1/4 of the kids have been raised by nannies more than their parents.
Well my daughters friends saw the post that was put up on Cassie's page. They all defended my daughter. The problem was they took it too far. They were starting to respond back with mean things. I wanted the problem to be handled appropriately by adults. So I commented on the original post and just told everyone that it would be handled on Monday. What was written was wrong but not to do anything to this other child. Really picking on the other girl will help no one. I was afraid everything would be blown out of proportion by middle school drama.
What was really sweet was Alyssa commented too. She handled it very maturely but protected her little sister too. Later Alyssa told me sometimes it sucks being over 18 and having to be legally responsible for your actions. Oh baby I get that. All I wanted to do was protect my lil one from a mean drama filled middle school brat but I had to be the adult and treat this other kid the way I would want my daughter treated.
First thing Monday morning my husband and I went to the principal. She saw the posting and was not very happy about it. She said what was done was considered cyber bullying and I could go to the police also. I did not want to bring it that far. I thought the appropriate thing to do was let the school and parents deal with it.
It ends up that the things written was through the girls Ipod. Her Ipod was stolen a month before at the school. So someone did write those things through this girls account but we don't know who did it. The girls parents were embarrassed that this happened at all. I do totally get that. I would be humiliated if someone thought my kids were picking on anyone else. I would be embarresed that I wasn't watching what my kids put in cyber world.
That was Mondays and last weekends craziness.
My husband does out side sales, each Christmas I bake desert trays for his top 15 - 20 customers. I spend several weeks staying up all hours baking. I usually start baking at 7pm, after dinner is made and I'm off of work. Several nights this week I was up until past midnight baking. So far I have made 11 trays of desserts. Now my kids are asking for dessert trays for their friends and some of their teachers. Who needs sleep right?
My husband got a cold a week ago. Luckily he takes care of himself and doesn't complain much. He hardly ever takes time off of work and this is no different. He takes cold medicine and he is on his way with life. It seems that Alex, Kenny, and Cassie are getting colds too. They need a lot of attention when they aren't feeling well.
Cassie has started to hear alot of rumors about herself these past few weeks. None are true but it still is hard on her emotionally. I think there are a lot of us who know how cruel other teenagers can be, especially girls are to each other.
Cassie had a heart to heart with Kenny last night. They are 2 grades apart but only a year and a half apart in age. He is in high school and is mature and responsible in her eyes. I call them my twins because they are so much alike in their personality. They think alike and usually do their evil plans together too. They are either fighting with each other or plotting against some one.
Kenny came to me last night and said, "Mom Cassie is getting picked on (I already knew that) and I want to put something up as my face book status. I need your approval." He showed me what he wanted to write. Basically it said that his lil sister has had rumors spread about her none of it is true and he wants it to stop. Wow how many teen age boys would do that for their little sister. I asked him to change the wording slightly but overall it was okay. He wasn't asked to protect her, he wanted to. He didn't want his lil sis to be hurt and he felt it was appropriate to make it known on a public forum. Cassie said it is a little weird that her brother loves her so much. She said our family is odd because we like to be together and we always do things for each other. She told me it's weird normal families don't show they love each other like we do. We talk about everything too, nothing is off limits.
Yes as my niece tells me, we are "special".
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)