I was born in New York and raised in California.   My parents can trace our LDS roots back about 150 years.  My ancestors helped settle areas of Utah and Idaho.  My parents left the state of Utah about 40 years ago.  They are back living there now though.  My parents are liberal politically for Utah but conservative for California.  They have always taught us to be morally right, not legally but morally right.  Don't just follow the letter of the law but the spirit of the law .  Morality for them was not just about don't have premarital sex but about living in honesty.  You don't follow the letter of the law but you do the right thing even if it is more than what the law says to be right.


Living up to what they have taught also includes not passing judgement.  My dad always said it doesn't matter what people say it is their actions that matter.  Sometimes you have to stand outside of the crowd.  Yes you have to sometimes stand outside the crowd even at church.   Just because someone claims to be christian because they put it all over there blog or face book doesn't mean they are following a Christlike example. 


I do expect these things of other members of my church but too often I'm disappointed.  I have met some people who are life long friends that are like this, who are honest in all they do.  Some are LDS and some are not.  My husband and his family overall have the same values I was raised with.  My husband is Catholic, I'm not talking about the kind that goes once a year to church but the type that goes weekly and tries to also help the surrounding community.  The type that gives time and money to the needy.


I am no where close to perfect.  I do know that, I am sometimes too passionate, driven, stubborn.  I try to protect those that can't protect themselves.  So often when people find out I'm LDS they are shocked.  I often hear but you aren't judgmental or racist, you know how to have fun and enjoy the moment.  Or I hear but you don't have only Mormon friends, is that allowed?  I also hear a lot from friends of how weird Utah/Mormons are.  Yes when I visit Utah it seems weird to me also.  I'm used to liberal free thinking California not conservative Utah. I'm used to big cities and a broad mix of ideas and people. 


One thing I do not understand is how a state for family values can give fathers no right in adoptions. A state that has 80 to 90% of their politicians are LDS.   You would think that this state would hold itself more accountable.  You would think this state would have the best laws for adoption.  Not the best laws for adoptive parents.  I expect more empathy from LDS members and their leaders.  I was taught my church is about families, families first.  Is that only for married couples are family first?  Should families come first for all families even the ones created through premarital sex? 

In this great state of Utah a father has to do more than just prove he is the biological father through DNA he has to prove that he has supported the pregnant mother.  He has to register that he wants his rights honored.  How can his rights as a dad can be taken away so easily?  I do not understand that at all.  How when families are supposed to be first can fathers, who are supposed to be the head of the families, be cast aside so easily?