Jumping ahead - Finding biological father

I am going to jump way ahead with my story. 

Yesterday my daughter got in contact with her biological grandfather on her father's side.  Alyssa has been against having contact with her biological fathers side since we reunited 9 months ago.  When we had only contact through letters when she was 15 or 16 she had asked about him.  I try to never lie to my kids so I told Alyssa about the Rob that I knew.  I did tell her that he has probably changed a lot.  I hadn't seen him since I was pregnant with her.  The Rob that I knew was not a stand up type of guy.  He liked to drink, smoke, do drugs.  He didn't graduate high school or hold a job.  He was 21 when I was 16 but he didn't drive and still lived with his parents.  I know I really picked a winner with her dad. 

I have told her many times that I would help her find her biological family when she is ready.  The day has came!!!  Even though I don't want contact with him or his family I want her to have contact.  I have assumed that people change over 19 years.  I had really hoped that he was stable maybe married and has more kids.  Well Thursday the 18th of August I found her biological grandfather.  I couldn't find Rob but I found someone from his family!  Luckily I'm pretty good on computers and figure out how to find people.

Alyssa called her grandfather yesterday.  From what she told me the conversation went something like " I'm trying to find your son Rob Jr."  his dad said "I haven't had contact with him for 6 years."  her reaction "Oh well I know someone that used to know him 18 years ago. Her name is Jeannette and she is my mom and I am their daughter and I am trying to contact him"  Wow she has guts! I am so proud of Alyssa for being that brave.  I am sure Rob's father was in horrible shock to say the least.  Luckily he is only 59 or 60 his heart can still take the news.  And then he told Alyssa that Rob had been in jail in Nevada and was released but he got a letter from an inmate friend of Robs in an Idaho jail.  So he might be in jail in Idaho. 

I am a bit sad for my daughter, she didn't necessarily want a full relationship with her father but it would be nice to know that he was stable.  Alyssa continued to tell her grandfather that she just had a baby 3 weeks ago and that Rob is now a grandfather and he was a great grandfather.  She asked if he had pictures of Rob.  He said he only had a few from when Rob was a kid.  But he would scan them in and send them to her through email.  At least she finally gets to see what the other half of her looks like.  I had no pictures of him at all to ever show her.   It looks like she might be able to have some sort of relationship with her grandfather. 

It was quite an emotional roller coaster for me yesterday and I'm sure for her too.  I am really frustrated that he couldn't change in 18 years and be the kind of person Alyssa would be proud to call dad.  I know we can't change other people and the world isn't perfect, but I want it to be perfect for my kids.