Alyssa's new post

I was just reading my daughters latest post.  She was pouring out her heart with the good and bad in her life.  As alot of us do she was saying things that are so hard to say in the normal world.  Things that we need to get out of our system. Our hurt and pain that others try to minimize. Below is her post and then after that is some mans "encouraging" comments.  Oh he got my blood boiling.  He uses nice words but still tries to tear her down.  He came acrossed, atleast to me,  as to say if you just closed your legs in the first place you wouldn't be in this situation and your son is better off without you. 


"I cannot help but to think of the song "Hello I'm in delaware" by city and colour whenever I am in my car driving. I also can't help but to think of Owen and where I would be if I kept him. He is constantly on my mind and in my heart. I can't stop thinking of him, I can't stop loving him. Hello I'm in Delaware
I feel like I am standing still waiting for him to come back to me but I know he won't. At least not for another 18 years. I was surrounded by people who were pressuring me to place, including my asshole boyfriend at the time. He would say things such as "I am not helping you raise an angry exboyfriend's child". I felt like I had to place, I felt like I had no choice. The people who raised me weren't supportive of keeping either. I just didn't know I could do it on my own with so many people against it. The people I thought truly loved me couldn't comprehend loving my son. I've moved out and on since then, I've learned to forgive. I am living with my best friend Kristen, her boyfriend and mine which is Kristen's boyfriend's step brother. They help me through the hard times when no one could when I lived with my adoptive parents. The other day, the adoptive couple sent me a photo of Owen, Ian was over my shoulder when I was opening the text message and I looked at him and he had the biggest smile on his face. He did the same thing when I wrote on my calendar that I get to see Owen on the 24th. Where was this man a year ago? I ask myself that everyday. He told me he would have still been with me even if I kept Owen and that he would be his dad. What 19 year old would be willing to take on that responsibility and say something as powerful as that? The last guy I was serious was 10 years older than him and he still never would say anything like that. He told me it would have ended if I kept Owen. He told me everytime I came back upon seeing Owen I shouldnt anymore. How could someone be so cruel? Yes, it is hard seeing someone call my son their own but he is still my son. He always has been, he always will be. He plays a huge role in my life and my decisions. It is incredible being with someone who loves Owen like his own. It is the best when I catch Ian looking through photos of Owen and asking about him.

There is nothing more falsified than an ammended birth certificate. There is also nothing more corrupt than purchasing a human life to build a "family". Owen will always be part of my family. Owen is my family. I love more than I ever could have imagined possible and it is the most amazing thing in the world.

Now a little bit about Ian. Love at first sight? This could be very possible. I met him through Kristen and Brandon. The first day he met me he told me I am 100% his type of girl. On January 26th after his birthday festivities with my family were over, we were laying in bed talking. He said he has something he wants to tell me and I said what is it? and he said he should wait until the morning. Of course, me being Anderson cannot wait for things so I got it out of him. He told me "I am in love with you". He means it, you can see it in his eyes and see it how he treats me. I feel the same for him. He is the kind of guy I have always wanted but never had and I love every minute I spend with him."

His comments were

"And this, my dear Kara, is why you wait to be intimate until AFTER you find and marry your Ian.

You call it corrupt that a committed couple is willing to take Owen as their own? and provide Owen the loving environment he deserves? that you were unwilling to wait until you were ready to fully provide?

You say you felt like you had to place Owen - and you were right to do so. As soon as you have sex you invite a life and if one comes, your own life, your own wants become secondary. I think "the people who raised" you and the others you "thought truly loved" you really do love you and comprehend your feelings for Owen. All too well. They're parents too and they know what goes into raising a child.

Don't confuse their refusal to place your wants above a helpless infant's needs as a lack of love on their part. Learn from this experience. Let Ian court you properly and then, when married, welcome Owen's brothers and sisters into a loving, nourishing home capable of providing emotionally, physically, spiritually all that a child needs.

Another "most amazing thing in the world" is that you will love each of your children just as much. It's unbelievable how you feel your heart will burst with one and then you find you have the capacity to love each one that much!

God is good, He loves you, and you can have many more things you never "could have imagined possible" if you'll follow His outline for happiness.

Bro. Arnell "