Kenny

Kenny is very different than Alex.  I swear he has the Irish temper.  He is as stubborn as anyone I know.  He has been that way since the moment I found out I was pregnant.  I had problems with the pregnancy since before I found I was carrying him.  I bleed through out the pregnancy and started having contractions at around 2 months.  My first OBGYN appt with him I was told that I will probably lose "it" soon since this pregnancy did not look viable.  That doctor didn't realize how strong lil Ken was.  He was determined to be in this world.  I was on and off bed rest up until 37 weeks pregnant.  He was born after 2 and a half  hours of labor. He was perfect in every way but he did have the biggest rib cage I had ever seen on a baby.  He was only 8 pounds 6 ounces but with that rib cage he looked so much bigger.  He was an easy baby.  Well he was easy once I realized that me eating chocolate was bad if I nursed him.  For some reason that gave him painful gas. 

Once he hit a year old and I stopped nursing him we found he had an allergy to milk.  Ken finally got over most of the milk allergy by 3 years old.  His first real words were die thanks to my sister.  Every time she saw him she would play with him and say "die die die"  he thought it was hilarious and she was the funniest thing ever so of course he would mock her and say "die" back..  Well she now has kids so we can get a little revenge. 

He made me become a very different parent.  His needs, desires, and actions were completely opposite of Alex.  If you were a fly on the wall at my house you might think I am dismissive towards Ken's actions.  With Kenny I have found when he is angry he needs space.  There is no point arguing with him when he is angry because he can't listen.  It is not that he doesn't want to but he literally can't make sense of what you are saying.  His emotions are too out of control.  His walls go up and no one can break them down.  If I get angry when he is then it is just a war for control.  Neither of us will win and both of us will be unreasonable.  So for me I just stay calm and ride the tide.  I don't allow Ken to hurt other people I allow him to go in his room or my room and have space.

Ken goes to his room listens to music and I will ask if he is ready to talk.  It needs to be his decision, he needs to feel that he has control over himself and he is ready.  Usually within an hour everything is totally solved and life is back to normal.  He has even learned when he has calmed down he will text me and ask if we can talk.  Sometimes he cries as I hold him because the anger has passed and he is overwhelmed by his real emotions.  We have taught him that crying especially for boys is okay.  It is okay to feel those emotions.  When he really needs a hug is when he pushes me away the most.  If I hug him and he is not ready that will be another control struggle.  I always tell him that I love him and when he is ready to talk let me know.  The reason he will text me is because he doesn't want anyone to know that he needs someone.  When he text me I discreetly go in my room and he will follow me from his room.  That way he thinks no one knows that he is hurt. He doesn't think 14 year olds should need their mommy. But we all know teenagers need their mom just as much if not more than babies do.  Their needs to be met may be different than babies but they need their moms emotional support and love.

Kenny really is a great person.  He always helps with younger kids and makes them feel special.  He sticks up for the underdog.  He does not allow others to push him around.  Everything has came easy to him.  All through elementary he never had to try in school really.  Alex would spend 2 hours a night doing homework and Ken would have the same thing done in 10 minutes.  Kenny has always made friends so easy too.  Wherever he goes he meets some one knew.  Kenny has the athletic ability in the family.  There has rarely been a sport that he has tried that he doesn't do great at.  He is so strong willed that sometimes he would rather be right  than think how his actions affects others. 

Kenny is the most sensitive of all my kids and things hurt him so deeply.  He pretends that they don't but they really do.  When he sees things that are unjust he has to act.  He doesn't know how to walk away.  That trait is so good that I don't want to smother it.  It is a good thing to see the injustices in the world and try to fight them but you can't fight all the battles at once.  He definitely gets this particular trail from his Aunt Laurel she has always fought for the underling, the least powerful. 

Kenny plays viola and loves it.  He has been playing for 3 years and wants to start tutoring other kids this summer.  He has goals and plans.  He sets out goals for himself and accomplishes them.  This he gets from Grandpa C who is a successful businessman.  Ken is also in Boy Scouts and loves it especially the adventures of camping and hiking.  Ken was in karate until recently and he really loved that too.  Kenny has to do something after school every day.  He can not handle just being in the house.  Most days he either runs or rides his bike after school.  He has so much energy he needs to get it out.  He really is such a good kid.  he is super competitive in all things.  Oh he definitely gets that from me.  I hate to admit it but I do get very competitive.

Both pictures are of Kenny from several years ago.  In this picture he is playing with his younger cousin.