November 22

I am a bit down today not only is Owen almost 4 months old but I have another Holiday season without all of my kids.   My sisters and nieces have asked me if Alyssa is going to be joining us for Thanksgiving or Christmas.  I have to tell them no not this year.  I know she doesn't want to hurt her aparents.  I truly do understand that plus she gets paid more to work the holidays.  I know I am being absolutely selfish for wanting my daughter and grandson for the holidays, but I still want to see them.  I'm tired of always putting every one's needs in front of my own when it comes to adoption and wanting time with my daughter. 

 I am beyond frustrated at LDSFS.  A few weeks ago my daughter asked for her non-identifying  and identifying information from them.  She was told she could not get her identifying information.  She wants proof that she has gone through the right process to get her OBC.  So we started the process first with non id, then id, then last we will try to get her OBC.  So she calls up her closest LDSFS in Utah.  They did not ask her what state she was born in.  They did not ask what state the adoption was finalized in.  They just told her she was not allowed to get her identifying information.  Without knowing what state she was born in and the adoption finalized in how can they tell her what she is allowed and not allowed to have.  I called up my local LDSFS in California and told them what Alyssa was told in Utah.  They said have her call up a LDSFS again and ask to talk to someone else.  She is allowed to get her identifying information. 

Last week LDSFS called up my daughter to pick up her non-identifying information.  My daughter asked them how she can get her OBC.  The lady at LDSFS actually told her that her original OBC gets destroyed when the adoption is finalized.  Really?  What kind of people work at adoption agencies?  If they are misleading adoptees after they turn 18 how can we trust them as natural mothers to have our best interest at heart?  My daughter who knows the facts about adoption laws is being mislead.  What are they telling all of the other adoptees wanting to search? 

I keep reading that very few adoptees actually search and want to know their natural families.  Is that really true or is it they are given the wrong information from agencies so they won't search?  This is the agency that we trusted to help us make the most difficult decision of our life and now when we have adult children they lie to them.