Let's go back in time to April 1993. I was living with my sister Anita in Anaheim but Shana came to visit and was heading back to San Jose. I missed my parents so I hitched a ride with Shana back home.
My little sister Laurel was still in high school so I went with her one day to her drama class. There was a guy there that had graduated the year before. We started talking and just clicked. He had dark blond super curly hair, tanned skin, and blue eyes. Jer and I immediately went on our first date to see Aladdin.
After the movie we went out to McDonald's and just talked. He was caring, smart, articulate, a little stubborn, and so cute. I told him about my daughter Alyssa and she was 13 months old. I left out the small part that I placed her for adoption. For some reason saying I placed my daughter for adoption was so hard to say.
We couldn't be separated when he wasn't at school or working we were together. I moved back to San Jose, that was an easy decision. After I think about 2 dates he had dropped me off at my house. I invited him in and introduced him to my crazy family. Believe me 6 brothers and sisters, 2 brother-in-laws and 5 nieces and nephews could scare anyone off. I walked him out to his car after meeting everyone and he wasn't terrified. The only question he asked was where is your daughter? I told him I placed her for adoption. He looked at me with compassion and said I'm so sorry, I wanted to meet her. I melted right then. He passed a major test of mine.
He didn't pass my parents test yet because I was LDS and he was Catholic. I wasn't supposed to marry outside of my church. I was always told marrying anyone from a different religion would be so hard on the marriage. But I was falling for this man and I couldn't stop myself. I had never dated someone so caring and kind.
Fast forward to September 1993, we were inseparable I had started my first semester of college and just got a job working as a secretary for an accountant. I also found myself pregnant.
I went to planned parenthood to get the pregnancy test done and it came out positive. I was excited, scared but excited. Jer looked at me when I told him I was pregnant and asked why I was smiling. I couldn't explain it but I felt at peace and knew I would make it through this and have a child.
I was 18, pregnant for the second time, and never been married. I was no better off than the first time I was pregnant. I knew 2 things, the first was I was not even going to walk into LDSFS and I would find a way to keep this child. I wasn't sure if I would get married or not but I wouldn't place this child is all I knew. I would fight for him. I knew I couldn't live through another adoption, I am not that strong.
We continued dating I went to my doctors and everything looked fine with this pregnancy. Morning sickness was a bitch. Throwing up every morning sucked. I didn't tell my parents I was pregnant yet, but luckily my mom was a workaholic and wasn't around much. I didn't gain weight at all, I actually lost. I was 16 weeks along and had the first ultrasound done, I was having a boy. We still hadn't told either of our parents. I was scared of my parents reaction.
I think it was the night after the ultrasound we told Jer's mom. She was sitting at the computer playing solitaire and Jer said I have something to show you, mom. She said what did you get a speeding ticket? Um no and he handed her the ultrasound This was about November 15th, I was due May 5th.
She had the best reaction ever. She looked at us and held Jer first and then brought me into it. She said you know before we got married we had a pregnancy scare also. It will be alright. Just like that she accepted it without judgement only love for her son and I. She told Jeremy's dad.
We talked for a while longer just her and I. I told her about Alyssa, she automatically accepted that too. We threw a lot at her that night.
Jeremy's parents wanted to meet with my parents. The next day we told my parents I was expecting. I was terrified, I've messed up twice, I felt like I was an embarrassment. My parents just took it but what could they say. As I was leaving I told my mom that Jer's mom knew about Alyssa. My mom's reaction was," isn't that a bit whorish?" What could I even say to that?
That Sunday after church my parents and I drove over to Jer's parents house. My mom asked what do they want to talk to us about? I wasn't sure, and I told her that. My mom who usually is pretty cool said, "They probably want to talk to us about our daughter being a whore." Wow, yeah thanks for that.
We all sat down together and talked. We talked about if we should get married, Jer and I definitely wanted too. So the next question was when. We talked about before the baby was born, or maybe wait til after, Jer's dad jokingly said hey we are all going to be in Tahoe this weekend why don't you just do it then? Jer and I went in a room alone together. Decisions decisions decisions.
We decided why wait to get married? Really it won't change how we feel about each other if we have 2 people at the wedding or 200 people.
We went out and told both of our families. We shocked them, again. We had to find a place to get married in Tahoe, we had to tell all of our families, and I had to get a dress. All this had to be done within 3 days. We were leaving Wednesday night for Tahoe so really 72 hours to put this together. I look back now and laugh at it.
Next blog will be our wedding
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